Chipotle chicken, apricot and brie quesadillas

From Closet Cooking

After a long break from Texmex/Mexican cuisine I was back into the zone and craving more. I also wanted to use some fresh local ingredients and I remembered seeing a chicken, apricot and brie panini on good Life {eats} which sounded like a good combo. I immediately thought about doing a quesadilla version but I knew that I would need some heat so I added some chopped chipotles in adobo sauce. I followed that with some cilantro, and green onions and I was just about done. For the apricots, I decided to grill them first and I thought that since brie goes well with jams that a bit of apricot preserves would both enhance the apricot flavour and add a nice touch of contrasting and balancing sweetness. I like to cook my quesadillas stove top in a pan as I am always able to get them nice and golden brown and slightly crispy on the outside and ooey gooey and melted and good on the inside and this time was no different. The chipotle chicken, apricot and brie quesadillas turned out really well! I liked the combination of the spicy chipotle chicken along with the apricots and the melted cheese all wrapped in crispy tortillas. The touch of sweetness from the apricot preserves worked just as well in these quesadillas as they do in grilled cheese sandwiches and I am going to enjoy experimenting some more with the new combo.

(makes 1 quesadilla)

Ingredients:
1/4 cup chicken (cooked and shredded)
1 tablespoon apricot preserves
1 chipotle in adobo sauce (chopped)
1 green onion (sliced)
1 tablespoon cilantro (chopped)
a touch of butter
2 large tortillas
1 apricot (sliced in half, stoned, grilled and thinly sliced)
4 ounces brie (thinly sliced)

Directions:
1. Mix the chicken, apricot preserves, chipotle in adobo sauce, green onion, cilantro in a large bowl.
2. Melt the butter in a large pan.
3. Place a tortilla into the pan and swirl it around in the butter and set aside.
4. Repeat for the other tortilla and leave it in the pan.
5. Spread the chicken mixture, apricot and brie on the tortilla and top with the other tortilla.
6. Cook until the quesadilla is golden brown on both sides and the cheese is melted. (I placed a plate onto the quesadilla and flipped it from the pan to the plate and then slid it back into the pan.)

German bacon and onion tart (flammekueche)

From Cook's Illustrated

Serves 4 as a main course, or 6 as an appetizer. Published October 3, 2007. Web Exclusive.

For the lightest, crispest crust, use an unbleached all-purpose flour with a protein content no higher than 10.5 percent, such as Gold Medal or Pillsbury. Serve the tart with a salad for dinner, or cut it into small pieces and serve as an appetizer. This tart tastes great with Gewürztraminer (a German white wine).

This recipe was published in our cookbook The Best International Recipe.

Ingredients

Tart Dough
2	cups unbleached all-purpose flour (10 ounces), plus extra as needed
1/2	teaspoon instant yeast
1/2	teaspoon honey
1/2	teaspoon salt
3/4	cup warm water , plus 2 tablespoons (100 to 105 degrees)
1/4	cup vegetable oil
Topping
1	cup crème fraîche or sour cream
	Table salt and ground black pepper or ground white pepper
1/2	teaspoon fresh grated nutmeg
8	ounces thick-cut bacon (about 6 slices), cut crosswise into 1/4-inch strips
4	medium onions , halved and sliced thin (about 4 cups)

Instructions

1. 1. For the tart dough: Combine the flour, yeast, honey, and salt in a food processor. With the machine running, add the water through the feed tube, followed by the vegetable oil. Continue to process until the dough forms a ball, about 30 seconds.

2. 2. Turn the dough out onto the counter and knead by hand for 30 seconds, adding extra flour if the dough is sticky. Wrap the dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 2 hours, or up to 2 days.

3. 3. Adjust an oven rack to the lowest position, set a baking stone on the rack, and heat the oven to 500 degrees; let the baking stone heat for 1 hour.

4. 4. For the topping: Meanwhile, mix the crème fraîche, 1 teaspoon salt, 1/2 teaspoon pepper, and nutmeg together, cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate until needed.

5. 5. Cook the bacon in a 12-inch nonstick skillet over medium heat until browned and most of the fat has rendered, about 10 minutes. Transfer the bacon to a paper towel-lined plate, leaving the fat in the skillet. Add the onions and 1/2 teaspoon salt to the fat left in the skillet, cover, and cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until the onions are softened and have released their juices, about 10 minutes. Uncover and continue to cook, stirring often, until the onions begin to brown, about 6 minutes; set aside off the heat.

6. 6. To assemble and bake: Remove the dough from the refrigerator. Divide it into two equal pieces, forming each piece into a ball. Place one ball on a lightly floured sheet of parchment paper and cover with one large sheet of plastic wrap (or two small overlapping pieces). Using a rolling pin, roll the dough into a 15 by 9-inch oval. Slide the parchment paper with the dough onto an inverted baking sheet.

7. 7. Spread half of the crème fraîche mixture over the dough, leaving a 1/2-inch border at the edge. Scatter half of the onion mixture and half of the bacon over the top. Slide the parchment with the tart onto the heated baking stone. Bake until the edges of the tart are golden brown and the parchment releases from the tart bottom, 5 to 7 minutes. While the first tart bakes, roll out and assemble the second tart on a sheet of parchment paper using the remaining dough and topping. Cut the baked tarts into about 6 pieces, and serve immediately.

Curry-yogurt glaze

From Cook's Illustrated

Makes about 1 cup. Published July 1, 2008. From Cook's Illustrated.

Ingredients

3/4	cup plain yogurt
2	medium garlic cloves , minced or pressed through garlic press (about 2 teaspoons)
2	teaspoons grated fresh ginger
2	teaspoons minced fresh cilantro leaves
1/2	teaspoon grated zest from 1 lemon
1 1/2	teaspoons curry powder
1/2	teaspoon sugar
	Salt and pepper

Instructions

1. Whisk ingredients together in small bowl; season to taste with salt and pepper. Reserve half of glaze for serving and use other half for brushing on chicken while grilling.

Creamy mushroom soup

From Cook's Illustrated

Makes 8 cups, serving 6 to 8. Published March 1, 2001.

To make sure that the soup has a fine, velvety texture, puree it hot off the stove, but do not fill the blender jar more than halfway, as the hot liquid may cause the lid to pop off the jar.

Ingredients

6	tablespoons unsalted butter
6	large shallots , minced (about 3/4 cup)
2	small cloves garlic , minced (about 1 1/2 teaspoons)
1/2	teaspoon ground nutmeg , freshly grated
2	pounds white button mushrooms , wiped clean and sliced 1/4 inch thick
3 1/2	cups chicken stock or canned low-sodium chicken broth
4	cups hot water
1/2	ounce dried porcini mushrooms , rinsed well
1/3	cup dry sherry or Madeira
1	cup heavy cream
2	teaspoons lemon juice from 1 lemon
	Table salt and ground black pepper
Sauteed Wild Mushroom Garnish (optional)
2	tablespoons unsalted butter
8	ounces shiitake mushrooms or chanterelle, oyster, or cremini mushrooms, stems trimmed and discarded, mushrooms wiped clean and sliced thin
	Table salt and ground black pepper

Instructions

1. 1. Melt butter in large, heavy-bottomed Dutch oven over medium-low heat; when foaming subsides, add shallots and saute, stirring frequently, until softened, about 4 minutes. Stir in garlic and nutmeg; cook until fragrant, about 1 minute longer. Increase heat to medium; add sliced mushrooms and stir to coat with butter. Cook, stirring occasionally, until mushrooms release liquid, about 7 minutes. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover pot, and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened and mushrooms have released all liquid, about 20 minutes. Add chicken stock, water, and porcini mushrooms; cover and bring to simmer, then reduce heat to low and simmer until mushrooms are fully tender, about 20 minutes longer.

2. 2. Pour soup into a large bowl. Rinse and dry Dutch oven. Puree soup in batches in blender until smooth, filling blender jar only halfway for each batch. Return soup to Dutch oven; stir in Madeira and cream and bring to simmer over low heat. Add lemon juice, season to taste with salt and pepper, and serve with sauteed mushroom garnish, if desired. (Can be cooled to room temperature and refrigerated up to 4 days.) If making ahead, add cream at serving time.

3. 3. For the Sauteed Wild Mushroom Garnish (optional):
   Heat butter in medium skillet over low heat; when foam subsides, add mushrooms and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until mushrooms release their liquid, about 10 minutes for shiitakes and chanterelles, about 5 minutes for oysters, and about 9 minutes for cremini. Uncover and continue to cook, stirring occasionally, until liquid released by mushrooms has evaporated and mushrooms are browned, about 2 minutes for shiitakes, about 3 minutes for chanterelles, and about 2 minutes for oysters and cremini. Sprinkle a portion of mushrooms over individual bowls of soup and serve.

New England clam chowder

From Cook's Illustrated

Serves 6 (about 2 quarts). Published March 1, 1998.

During spring and summer, shellfish spawn, leaving them weak, perishable, and off-flavored. Although clams recover from their spawning phase more quickly than mussels and oysters, they should be avoided from late spring through midsummer.

Ingredients

7	pounds medium-size hard-shell clams , such as littleneck, topneck, or small cherrystone, washed and scrubbed clean
4	slices thick-cut bacon (about 4 ounces), cut into 1/4-inch pieces
1	large Spanish onion , diced medium (about 2 cups)
2	tablespoons unbleached all-purpose flour
3	medium boiling potatoes (about 1 1/2 pounds), scrubbed and diced medium
1	large bay leaf
1	teaspoon fresh thyme or 1/4 teaspoon dried thyme
1	cup heavy cream
2	tablespoons minced fresh parsley leaves
	Table salt and ground black pepper

Instructions

1. 1. Bring clams and 3 cups water to boil in large, covered soup kettle. Following illustration 1, below, steam until clams just open, 3 to 5 minutes. Transfer clams to large bowl; cool slightly. Following illustrations 2 and 3, remove clams from shells by opening clams with a paring knife while holding over a bowl to catch juices. Next, sever the muscle from under the clam and remove it from the shell. Reserve meat in bowl and discarding shells. Mince clams; set aside. Pour clam broth into 2-quart Pyrex measuring cup, holding back last few tablespoons broth in case of sediment; set clam broth aside. (Should have about 5 cups.) Rinse and dry kettle; return to burner.
   

2. 2. Fry bacon in kettle over medium-low heat until fat renders and bacon crisps, 5 to 7 minutes. Add onion to bacon; sauté until softened, about 5 minutes. Add flour; stir until lightly colored, about 1 minute. Gradually whisk in reserved clam juice. Add potatoes, bay leaf, and thyme; simmer until potatoes are tender, about 10 minutes. Add clams, cream, parsley, and salt (if necessary) and ground pepper to taste; bring to simmer. Remove from heat and serve.

Perogies

From LiveJournal Coeliac Recipes

As requested by twostepsfwd, here's a great recipe for perogies. They are kind of a pain to make but well worth the time and effort. Perogies are a lazy day meal for my family so I tend to make a double or triple batch and keep my freezer well stocked.

1 cup creamed cottage cheese
1 large egg
3 tbsp milk
1 tbsp oil
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup potato starch
1/2 cup cornstarch
1/2 cup tapioca flour
1 1/2 cups white rice flour
1/4 cup soya flour
3 tsp xantham gum
1 tsp salt

Place first five ingrediants in a blender and blend until smooth. Pour into a medium sized bowl. Sift and mix dry ingrediants together and add to liquid mixture. Knead well with hands until dough is smooth. Cover and let stand while you make the filling. Roll thin on an oiled surface. Cut with 2 1/2 inch round cutter. Place teaspoonful of filling on each piece and seal edges tightly together. Drop pyroghys into boiling water in which 1tsp of salt and 1tsp of oil have been added. Boil until pyroghys float to the top of the water. Toss in melted butter and serve with onion, bacon bits and sour cream.

That recipe is taken straight from the pages of Gluten Free Anytime Special. However, here are some trial and error suggestions:

Make sure you OIL not flour your board and cutters. That might seem obvious to some but I am used to making pastry and didn't think the first time I made these. If you flour instead of oil the edges of your perogies will not stay sealed.

Freeze your perogies before you cook any of them. They hold up much better that way.

Cook them for a few extra minutes after they started to float. Being used to store bought perogies, I assumed they were done as soon as they floated and they were still uncooked inside. Or at least double check one before you put all your condiments on them and pop them in the microwave for a couple of minutes if need be.

I don't have a recipe that I use for filling. I usually just mash some potatoes with cheddar cheese and cottage cheese and add salt and pepper and chives.

Eggnog

From Simply Recipes

We grew up with eggnog, the kind you buy in a carton, and every Christmas holiday we kids drank up as much of it as we could. I didn't even know that eggnog was a "spiked" drink until well into my adult years. So this recipe is only lightly spiked; feel free to increase the rum and bourbon to your heart's delight, or omit altogether if it's for the kids. Is eggnog part of your family holiday tradition? If so, how do you like it - spiked or virgin? with whipped egg whites or without?

Ingredients

4 egg yolks
1/2 cup sugar
2 cups milk
2 whole cloves
Pinch of cinnamon
1 cup cream
1 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 Tbsp each of bourbon and rum or brandy, or to taste (can omit for kid-friendly eggnog)
*4 egg whites (optional)

Method

1 In a large bowl, beat egg yolks until they become lighter in color (can whisk by hand or use a mixer for this). Slowly beat in the sugar, whisking until fluffy.

2 Combine the milk, cinnamon, and cloves in a thick-bottomed saucepan. Slowly heat mixture on medium heat until it is steaming hot, but not boiling.

3 Temper the eggs by slowly adding half of the hot milk mixture into the eggs, whisking constantly while you add the hot mixture. Pour the mixture back into the saucepan.

4 Cook on medium heat, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon, until it begins to thicken slightly, and coats the back of the spoon. It helps to have a candy thermometer, but not necessary; if you have one, cook until the mixture reaches 160°F. Do not allow the mixture to boil, or it will curdle. (If the mixture does curdle you may be able to save it by running it through a blender.) Remove from heat and stir in the cream. Strain the mixture through a mesh strainer to remove the cloves. Let cool for one hour.

5 Mix in vanilla extract, nutmeg, and bourbon/rum and brandy (feel free to omit for kid-friendly eggnog). Chill.

Optional: Beat egg whites until they reach soft peaks. Add a teaspoon of sugar and continue to beat until they reach stiff peaks. Gently fold into eggnog.

Makes 1 quart. Serves 4-6.

Cottage cheese pancakes

From Gluten-Free Gobsmacked

These make thin, almost crepe-like pancakes. I tried using them as a pseudo-pizza crust, and they worked quite nicely. I think they would also work to roll up fillings, like a crepe or burrito.

Makes 9 palm-sized (4" diameter or less) pancakes

Ingredients:
· 1/2 cup cottage cheese
· 1/4 cup GF Flour mix or 3 Tablespoons sweet rice flour + 1 Tablespoon tapioca starch
· 2 1/2 Tablespoons of butter, melted (plus additional butter for cooking)
· 2 eggs

Try adding:
· 1/2 tsp baking powder
· 1/4 tsp salt
· 1 tsp sugar (to help with browning)

Directions:
1. Put all ingredients into a food processor (or blender) and process until smooth.
2. Preheat the oven to 200F or "warm".
3. Preheat griddle (or frying pan) over medium-high heat.
4. Add 1/3 Tablespoon of butter to the pan and swirl to coat the bottom.
5. Drop 1/8 cup (2 Tablespoons) of the pancake mixture into the pan and swirl a bit with the bottom of the measuring cup to spread evenly. (I could fit 3 small pancakes in a regular 10" frying pan.)
6. Cook until the majority of the bubbles on the surface have popped and remained as "holes".
7. Flip.
8. Cook for an additional 3-4 minutes (depending on the heat of your pan).
9. Put the cooked pancakes into an oven proof dish and place in the warm oven to keep hot while you finish cooking the pancakes.
10. Serve hot with butter, maple syrup, raspberry jam, or powdered sugar, etc.

Pumpkin protein shake

From Protein Power

Recipe By : Sweetiepie
Serving Size : 1 Preparation Time : 5 min.
Categories : shakes

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1/4 cup canned pumpkin -- frozen, about 3 cubes
3 ice cubes
5 tablespoons vanilla whey protein powder -- 1 scoop
2 teaspoons Splenda -- (1 pkt.--optional, can also use Stevia)
1 ounce cream cheese
3 tablespoons heavy cream
2/3 cup water
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice -- (or to taste)

Spread a 15 oz. can of pumpkin (unsweetened, not pie filling!) into an ice
cube tray. 3 cubes of canned pumpkin will equal about 1/4 cup of pumpkin.
Freezing it will help make the shake thicker.

Layer all the ingredients in a blender and whir until the ice is crushed
and the shake is fairly smooth.

Note that the protein count for this recipe is only 4g--actual counts will
depend on the type of protein powder that you use. Isopure Vanilla protein
powder has 50g protein per scoop, but typical whey protein powder is about
22g protein per scoop. Splenda isn't included in the nutrient counts
because it's optional. YMMV.

Yield: 12 ounces

Per Serving : 281 Calories; 27g Fat (83.7% calories from fat); 4g Protein;
8g Carbohydrate; 2g Dietary Fiber; 92mg Cholesterol; 110mg Sodium.
Exchanges: 0 Grain(Starch); 1/2 Lean Meat; 1 Vegetable; 0 Non-Fat Milk; 5 Fat.

Baked Mozzarella Sticks

From Donna Washburn and Heather Butt's "The Best Gluten-Free Family Cookbook"

Crave mozzarella sticks but don't want to deep-fry? These crispy baked sticks are worth the extra care.

Tips

1. To prevent melted cheese from leaking out, be sure each piece is completely coated with yogurt mixture and bread crumbs.
2. Serve with salsa, sour cream, or your favourite dipping sauce.
3. To freeze: Double or triple the recipe and freeze coated unbaked cheese sticks in a single layer in a jelly-roll pan. Once froze, remove cheese sticks from pan and place in a heavy-duty freezer bag. Remove only the number you need -- they won't stick together. Bake according to recipe.
4. Use any leftover savoury bread or cornbread to make extra-fine bread crumbs.

Ingredients (makes 12)

- 8 oz (250 g) mozzarella cheese
- 2 egg yolks
- 1 cup (250 mL) plain yogurt
- 2 cups (500 mL) extra fine dry bread crumbs
- 2/3 cup (150 mL) freshly grated parmesan cheese
- 1 tbsp (15 mL) dried basil or dillweed
- pinch cayenne pepper

Preheat oven to 450 F (230 C)
Lightly grease a baking sheet

Directions

1. Cut mozzarella cheese into sticks 3 by 1/2 by 1.2 inch (7.5 by 1 by 1 cm).
2. In a small bowl, combine egg yolks and yogurt.
3. In a shallow dish or pie plate, combine bread crumbs, parmesan, basil, and cayenne pepper.
4. Dip cheese into yogurt-mixture to generously coat, leaving as much mixture on the cheese as possible. Then dip into crumb mixture, pressing to coat ends and sides well.
5. Place the coated sticks in a single layer on prepared baking sheet and freeze for 2 to 4 hours, or until completely frozen. Bake in preheated oven for 5 to 8 minutes, or until coating is golden.
6. Transfer to a serving plate and serve immediately.

Peach crisp with maple cream sauce

From The Pioneer Woman Cooks

I don’t know what to say. This is Gee’s recipe, and it’s so good, I…I…I feel like crying. Hold on, I’m going to go have a really good, cleansing cry.

I’m back. That was awesome. And so is this dadgum dessert, people. Make it now, or at the very least, by 2074. Deal? Deal.

The Cast of Characters: Fresh Peaches, Flour, Sugar, Light Brown Sugar, Cinnamon, Nutmeg, Salt, Butter, Lemon, Maple Syrup, Whipping Cream, Light Corn Syrup. How could this go wrong?

Start with one cup flour.

Add to a medium bowl.

Now add 1/2 cup sugar…

And 1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar.

Now add 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon…

Now measure 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg…

And add it to the bowl.

Now add 1/4 teaspoon salt. (I used Kosher because earlier in the day I’d accidentally put my regular salt in the sink full of dishwater. Welcome to my life.) Regular salt is fine.

Now, with a fork…

Stir the mixture together.

Now take one stick (1/4 pound or 8 tablespoons or 1/2 cup) regular butter.

And cut it into bits. This actually works much better if the butter is straight out of the fridge. This was a little soft because I’d left a sack of groceries in my car for two hours because I have a rebellious streak and like to leave one or two sacks of groceries in the car when I get home. Issues.

In any event, cut the butter into small pieces…

And add it into the bowl.

With a fork (or pastry cutter, whatever makes your skirt fly up), begin mixing the butter with the flour mixture.

Just gradually mush in the butter…

Until the butter is evenly mixed in. (If the butter had been cold, it would resemble coarse meal.)

Now peel and slice 5 to 6 cups fresh peaches. Best to use peaches that aren’t overly ripe or soft.

Now take 1/2 lemon…

And grate off the zest.

I’ve sung the praises of this microplane zester before; there’s nothing like it in the world. I’m thinking of proposing.

Add the zest to the peaches…

And squeeze in the juice from the lemon half.

Now take real maple syrup…(I’ve never used pancake syrup in this recipe, but it would probably do in a pinch.)

Add 2 tablespoons into the peaches.

Now stir the peaches well.

Now take a relatively small baking pan. This one’s about eight inches long, or you can use a 9-inch square pan. Anything is fine, as long as it isn’t huge.

Pour the peaches into the baking dish.

Now take the crumb topping…

And start sprinkling it over the top…

Until you’ve used it all.

Lightly even out mixture with a fork, but no need to get it perfect.

Now cover tightly with foil and pop into a 350-degree oven for fifteen minutes.

After fifteen minutes, remove the foil and bake for an additional 20-30 minutes, or until top is crisp (get it?) and brown. Sometimes I let it bake for 25 minutes or so, then crank on the broiler for a couple of minutes just to get the top nice and bubbly and crisp (get it?) If you do this, though, DO NOT walk away from the oven to answer the doorbell or change laundry loads. You’ll never forgive yourself.

While the peach crisp is baking, it’s time to make the maple cream sauce. (You can also make this earlier in the day, because it needs to be served chilled. I’ll tell you about my shortcut later, though.) Start with whipping cream (i.e. heavy cream.)

Measure 1 1/2 cups…

And pour into a small saucepan.

Now take that good ol’ maple syrup again…(Never mind the fingerprints. It’s all that butter, man.)

Add 5 tablespoons into the cream.

Now take light corn syrup…

Add 3 tablespoons.

Stir together and cook over moderate heat, stirring constantly, until thickened and reduced by about 1/3. This should take about 15 minutes. No need to stir vigorously or anything; just enough to prevent sauce from sticking to the pan.

When you’re finished, it should look like this. And DO NOT taste it. It’s evil and lethal and rude.

Now. You can chill it in the fridge until it’s cold and thick. OR, you can take this shortcut: set the saucepan into a small bowl of ice. The ice will melt a little and turn to ice water, and as you stir the sauce, it will cool and thicken. Within about fifteen minutes, it’s cold!

Here’s what the peach crisp looks like when it’s all done.

And here it is, up close and personal.

When you’re ready to serve, just scoop out a nice big spoonful…(and it’s best to serve it warm.)

And place it on a plate.

Now take this deliciously cold, creamy, sweet, evil, decadent, ridiculous, sinful, ecstasy-inducing maple cream sauce…

And start drizzling it all over the peach crisp.

Don’t be shy…

Really let it flow.

I’m sorry, I know this is cruel.

But I believe in full disclosure. I just don’t think it would be fair for me to hold back any of these photos. I want you to know what you’re getting into.

I’m all about keepin’ it real, you know.

Bacon-wrapped jalapeno thingies

From The Pioneer Woman Cooks

These are evil. And they must be destroyed. My lovely sister-in-law, Missy, brings these little wonders to my house each Fourth of July and they have made a huge impression on my life. I’ve decided that I never want to be without them, they’re so fundamental to my survival at this point. And they’re as simple as it gets: Cream cheese-stuffed jalapenos wrapped in bacon. Cook ‘em. Pop ‘em in your mouth. Sing praises. Faint. They’re absolutely addictive.

The only problem arises when our father-in-law is on the premises when Missy arrives bearing these puppies. I love and respect the man, but I usually have to fight him off with a cattle prod just to ensure I get one or two. It isn’t ever pretty. He loves these things.

But enough of our family dysfunction; let’s get started, shall we?

The Cast of Characters: Fresh Jalapenos, Cream Cheese, and Bacon. Three ingredients! This is simple stuff.

Start with a jalapeno. Hello, jalapeno! Try to find ones that are 2 to 3 inches long; not too big.

Slice the jalapeno in half length-wise.

Ack! I just love this shot—looks like I’m about to lob off my fingers.

Please, please don’t lob off your fingers.

Now it’s time to seed them. (Or is it "de-seed?" I never do quite get that whole thing.)

With a spoon, gently scrape out the seeds and white membranes. This process moves pretty quickly.

If you’re impervious to the spiciness, you can leave a little membrane and/or a couple of seeds inside. If you prefer things a little on the mild side, go ahead and clean ‘em out reeeeel gooooood.

Now cut the bacon slices into thirds. I usually just go ahead and cut the whole package at once. I like shortcuts.

Now unwrap the softened cream cheese and your assembly line is all set!

Now start smearing cream cheese inside each jalapeno half.

No need to be particularly neat about it…

Just schmear it in there generously.

Just keep going until you have the quantity you want. That’s the great thing about this recipe: you can make as few as two or as many as 49,382! There’s no huge commitment.

Now take a piece (1/3 slice) of bacon and wrap it around the jalapeno.

Wrap it snugly, but not too tightly.

Keep going until you’re finished.

Now stick a toothpick through the middle of each one; this will keep the bacon from coming off in the oven. Place them on a pan with a rack (so bacon grease can escape) and bake at 375 degrees for 20-25 minutes. Here’s what they’ll look like:

Oh, baby. Oh, oh, oh baby.

These are so divine, you should seriously consider making four or five times the quantity you think you’ll need.

In an unexpected twist, Hyacinth’s husband came to our little shindig and plopped a couple of these on top of his burger! What a great idea.

No, go forth and wrap jalapenos with bacon. You’ll never, ever regret it.

Holiday scalloped potatoes, with real cream

From Tastefully Done

This one is from Cook's Illustrated and it's really rich and creamy...not really for weeknights, but perfect for Easter/Christmas. I think the food processor is a necessary tool for getting the potatoes the right size...

Serves 8 to 10. Published February 1, 2005.

For the fastest and most consistent results, slice the potatoes in a food processor.

Ingredients
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 small onion , minced
2 medium cloves garlic , minced (about 2 teaspoons)
3 cups heavy cream
1 cup whole milk
4 sprigs fresh thyme
2 bay leaves
2 teaspoons table salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
4 pounds russet potatoes , peeled and cut into 1/8-inch-thick slices
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese (about 4 ounces)

Instructions
1. Heat oven to 350 degrees. Meanwhile, melt butter in large Dutch oven over medium-high heat until foaming subsides, about 1 minute. Add onion and sauté until it turns soft and begins to brown, about 4 minutes. Add garlic and sauté until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add cream, milk, thyme, bay leaves, salt, pepper, and potatoes and bring to simmer. Cover, adjusting heat as necessary to maintain light simmer, and cook until potatoes are almost tender (paring knife can be slipped into and out of center of potato slice with some resistance), about 15 minutes.

2. Remove and discard thyme sprigs and bay leaves. Transfer potato mixture to 3-quart gratin dish and sprinkle with cheese. Bake until cream has thickened and is bubbling around sides and top is golden brown, about 20 minutes. Cool for 5 minutes before serving.